My Forever: A Hundred Years in the Making by 4CullensandaBlack
by cheaterscontest
Summary: A fear of self-acceptance causes a love-affair to slowly develop over decades. CheatersContest Entry.


**Title of Story: My Forever: A Hundred Years in the Making**

 **Rating: M**

 **Pairing: Edward and Carlisle**

 **Genre: Hurt/Romance**

 **Word Count: 4784**

 **Story Summary: A fear of self-acceptance causes a love-affair to slowly develop over decades.**

 **Standard Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.**

*O*o*O*

 **Chicago 1918**

 **Human Edward's POV**

When my family and I first arrived at the hospital showing signs of the disease, I couldn't help but think that this was God's punishment for the thoughts that I've been having.

My mother, my dear sweet mother, said that God isn't that cruel and that he loves me no matter what. I don't know if I believed that, but then he walked into my life and I thought maybe she was right. Maybe God hasn't damned me.

That was over a month ago, and since then my condition has gotten worse. I've been moved down to the basement with no signs of improvement. Doctor Cullen is the only one willing to work with us lost causes; he says I shouldn't call myself that, but I know that it is only a matter of time before I am gone.

After making the rounds with his healthier patients, the young doctor comes down to check on us; he seems immune to the disease. However, that could be because I am slipping in and out of consciousness; I feel as if he comes to my bedside nightly. His beauty is intoxicating and his knowledge of medicine and the world pulls me in even more.

Most nights he speaks to me about his travels and that one day I will see the things that he's seen plus much more when I leave the hospital. Also, when he is at my side he speaks about my mother's condition, but for the past two nights he has not mentioned her. I am afraid that I've lost her, and maybe he's too afraid to tell me.

I know he will be back soon; the sun set hours ago and the daytime crew have already gone home.

Doctor Cullen probably thinks that if I know of my mother's demise that my will to live would be completely gone.

"Edward," he's here. I try my hardest to open my eyes so that I can see his beautiful face.

"Doc…tor…Cullen." I struggle to get my words out since I haven't spoken to anyone all day. Actually it feels like weeks since words have left my lips.

"Carlisle, remember?" He says taking a seat on the side of the makeshift hospital bed that I lay upon.

"Yes, I…remember…Carl…isle." He tilts a cup of water to help relive my dry mouth and chalked lips.

"I have been trying to find the words to tell you something." He takes a deep breath. I close my eyes because I already know what is coming. To save him the pain of speaking the words, I say them first.

"My mother is dead. Isn't she?" I whisper it so low that I can't hear it myself but apparently Carlisle can.

"Yes, dear Edward she is. I am so sorry." He mourns the loss of her with me as a tear falls from my eye.

His hand reaches out cupping my face while his thumb wipes the lone tear away. I open my eyes because I know that this will be the last time that I see him. He's leaving because he's finally realized that he can't save us all.

"Goodbye, Carlisle." I cough as he stands up looking down at me. Suddenly, I feel my body being lifted and I am being cradled in his arms. They feel so strong and powerful. My body is weak and small, but I know when I meet my end that this moment will be one of most important memories; the feeling of being truly protected and wanted.

"I will not let you die like this" he says so quietly that I can barely hear him. He walks me right through the front door.

I feel the wind hit my face hard and I smell the thick industrial air. I hear leaves passing us and realize that we are running, well, he is running and that I am still in his arms.

I try to force my eyes open but the pressure of the wind is so great that I can't seem to wedge them open.

"Ah, hmm" I moan from the chill of the outside elements, but soon I am wrapped in warmth as my body is surrounded by a large throw. I've opened my eyes by this point to see that Carlisle has placed me on an oblong chair with a cushion. We are in a small wooden cabin; it is a rustic one room space almost unlivable in the way of human necessity.

"Carl…isle where are we?" I ask while coughing up some disgusting mucus.

He is across the room in an instant, creating a fire in the small fireplace. "We are in my home, dear Edward. I want you to be comfortable, and I also wanted to ask you a question." There is barely anything here resembling a home; the one thing that seems to catch my eye as unique is the massively large wooden cross dominating the other side of the room.

Carlisle is now back at my side, "I cannot sit back in good conscious and watch you suffer like this. You are so young and full of promise. And I am so lonely and dwindle by the world around me. You bring such light and joy to my life." I smile at his confession.

He continues with his speech as I try to sit up so that I can see him better, "Do you want to be with me forever, Edward?" I try with all my might to process what he is saying. How can I be with him forever? He is so young to be such a well-versed doctor; I want to question him and his words more but the only thing on repeat in my mind is _'be with me forever.'_

"As my companion," he continues as I shack my head in agreement.

"I need you to say the words, Edward," he says in a stern commanding voice. My body shakes with the force of it as I look into his golden eyes. They always seem to mesmerize me with there unusualness.

Coughing out the words I say, "Yes, Carlisle, I want to be with you forever." A smile comes to his all too serious face, forcing one to come to mine as well. He sits down next to me, leaning his body into me closely, and my breath hitches as he stares into my eyes.

"I am going to miss looking into these green eyes," he whispers as his face comes closer to mine. This is it. I am going to get my first kiss.

However, he turns from my waiting lips to my neck, "wait" I mutter the word and he stops. His face is mere inches away from me; I reach my hand up to his face trying to pull him the rest of the way to my lips. "Just once…please" I beg as a battle rages in his eyes, but he does grant my wish and presses his lips to mine.

The pressure and feel of his lips overtake me as I moan into the kiss wanting nothing more than to have this moment last forever. But alas, he pulls away. I blush from the heat of the moment, which causes Carlisle to growl.

I am shocked as I find the act and sound so appealing. He moves before I can see it and claims my lips again. I want to return the kiss so badly, but instead a cough comes from my throat and I feel my body heating up.

He stares at me with concern in his eyes. "This isn't right but I will make it better, dear Edward." With that said, he leans down towards my neck as I continue to fight this cough and bites down on it.

Misunderstanding covers my face as an intense pain slowly courses from his bite into my body, and then I realize that my forever maybe a lot longer than I originally thought. And with that insight, I now know that Carlisle is a vampire, that he has a thirst for blood, and that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

The pain soon overtakes my entire body causing me to scream and black out from the force of it.

 **Three Days Later**

The first thing that I see when I open my eyes is the world's most handsome man. His hair is not blond but almost white in its coloring. His eyes are warm but they aren't as golden as I remember. In fact, his face seems warn from exhaustion.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?" I ask as I lift myself up. I feel different, strong and not as frail as I was for the past few months.

"Edward, you know who I am?" I look at him as if something must have happened since I've been asleep. "Of course I know who you are. You are my forever."

He smiles and clears his throat I watch him as he moves to examine me.

 _He must be hungry. We should hunt._

"Well, now that you mention it, I am famished." A painful all-consuming burning surrounds my throat as I speak.

"What?" he looks confused as I move towards the door, but what he was going to say dies on his lips as I remove the bloody hospital gown from my body.

"Edward, please cover your…" Before he can finish I am out the door as a mouthwatering scent hits my nose, and I run out of the small cabin.

I'm moving really fast as I pick up speed as the trees pass me by. As I soon see what the scent is attached to, I lunge for it. The lion puts up a good fight, but in the end, I come out victorious.

Carlisle seems surprised to find me as I snap its neck, "What took you so long?" I ask as I begin to feast on the creature.

 _Oh good, it was an animal he smelled and not a human._

"Hum" I groan around the neck of my kill as I bathe in its blood. "Join me?" I ask as Carlisle kneels down to the right of the beast feasting upon him with me.

 _He is so beautiful. I did the right thing bringing him over._

"Carlisle, I am now like you…a vampire?" I ask even though I already knew the answer.

"Yes, dear Edward, you are like me," he answers with a smile as he goes back to feed some more.

"It's you and me forever, right?" I ask, worried that maybe he has changed his mind.

"Edward, you are even more beautiful now than before. You are strong and the world is at your feet. Like I've told you before, you can do great things."

I bask in his speech but add to it, "as long as I can do those things with you; that is what matters."

 **Ohio 1921**

 **Carlisle's POV**

"Edward, please come here. I want you to meet someone." I don't know why I am yelling but I've been gone for three days. I know Edward has been worried, but if I would have brought Esme home during her change, who knows what Edward would have done.

I know he will understand. We've discussed this before; he has tried his hardest to change my mind, but I can't go against my beliefs. It doesn't look right for two men to be living together.

People may start to question us, and then they will begin to dig deeper into who or better yet what we are.

 _Please understand._

I beg him through my thoughts as Edward turns the corner standing in front of the both of us.

"Carlisle who is this?" he asks quickly.

I swallow a breath even though I don't need to, "This is Esme. We are planning to get married!"

His face shows his resentment as he examines the woman standing before him; the woman who, all those years before ever meeting Edward, I would have made my wife without question or concern for anyone else.

I see the hurt and anger in his eyes, "How exactly do you see this working, Carlisle?" He asks a question that I was not expecting.

 _Are you okay with this arrangement, Edward?_ The thoughts are in my head as he nods in my direction, never taking his eyes off of her.

"I believe that I have no choice in the matter, correct?" He asks, moving closer to Esme.

"Nice to meet you, Edward," Esme says reaching out her hand to shake his. He eyes her hand before taking it and saying, "Nice to meet you too, Esme. I am sure that Carlisle will make you very happy."

I am surprised. I thought that it would be more of a fight. Edward hasn't been the most mature about my decisions in the past. I know he wants a physical relationship with me, but that is not something that I am comfortable with. Goodness, if my father were alive he would have skinned us both, and then killed us in the town square as an example for others.

From what I do recall of my human life, I know that my feelings for the same sex have consumed me. But being born to the father that I had did not bode well for me. As it stands, before the night I was turned, my father had agreed to marry me off to a widowed noble woman in the next town. I would have done what was asked of me, of course, and married her, doing my husbandly duty even if the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

However, interestingly enough, meeting Esme all those years ago caused feelings of romance to spark in me again, and I believed that I was cured of my affliction until I saw Edward in that hospital. My heart exploded, I never wanted to bring someone over as much as I did in that moment since becoming a vampire.

Yet my faith and the teachings of my father are deeply rooted in me; I guess no matter how hard I try, I can't willingly give myself to Edward so marrying Esme and being bound to her is the next best thing.

"I will leave you two alone to your celebrations as I am desperate for a hunt," Edward says with force underling his words as he went through the front door. He didn't come back until three in the morning, and went straight to his room. I left with Esme to feed, and when we returned a little after eight in the morning, I walked towards his room.

 _Edward, can we talk?_

I thought as I knocked on his door. When I didn't get a response, I opened the door to discover it was empty. I walked inside towards the piano in the center of the room. He always said how much he missed playing, so I was able to procure him one. The black and white keys had a piece of parchment on them with Edward's hand writing.

 _Carlisle,_

 _I guess it was just unspoken. I guess I thought that we had an understanding. I guess I just knew that we would eventually get over your hang ups, and we would finally be together. But now I know that I cannot be mature about this. I cannot sit here and watch you with her._

 _I love you too much,_

 _Edward_

"AGH!" A growl leaves my lips as I raise my hands above me bringing them down on top of the keys. Esme runs into the room as I look at the now ruined instrument. I turn to her quickly and apologize, informing her that Edward has left us because of his desire for human blood.

Yes, I lied, because if I didn't then she would leave me as well for deceiving her. Edward has given me what I asked for – the opportunity to be perceived as normal even though that isn't possible now. Because I will never be able to function without him by my side, but I asked for this so I must play the part.

With that thought, I grab Esme's hand. "He's young. He will be home soon; I truly believe that," I say as we exit his room in wait of Edward's return.

 **Arizona 2005**

 **Edward's POV**

"You can try to suck the venom out," Carlisle says. I don't understand. Why me?

"I won't be able to stop," I say, staring at Carlisle.

"Find the will to stop. But choose; she only has minutes left."

I can't do it. I can't choose to bring her over for him. It's too much to ask of me.

I look down at Bella, thrashing in pain. I take her hand and she tries to pull it away from me.

"It's alright, Bella. I'll make it go away." I look at her as I bend down lowering my mouth to her open wound. I start to suck the venom from her hand looking into her eyes.

I start to suck harder, hungrily feasting on her blood,

"Stop. Her blood is clean. You're killing her." I hear Carlisle's voice above me.

 _If he kills her, he will never come back from this._

But the bloodlust is too strong. I'm going to kill her, and with that realization, I think of Carlisle and how it would affect him. Not the family, not myself, and not even Bella's family. We've already established a good enough cover story if she dies.

I fix my eyes to look at Carlisle and he stares at me with concern and longing in his.

 _Choose me, Edward; be with me._

My face shows my irritation at his thoughts but Bella is lying in front of me in pain with James' venom coursing through her veins, and Carlisle decides now to admit that he wants to be with me. The sad thing is if this would have happened six months ago, I wouldn't have had a problem blowing up our family and coming clean to Esme.

I really do think of her as my second mother, but after Carlisle brought her home that day it took me a while to warm up to her.

 _What do you want, Edward? What is your forever?_

I drop Bella's hand. She will be fine but my anger is obvious as I scream at the man who has held my heart for almost a century.

"What is my forever? Are you serious, Carlisle? I chose you as my forever and I've played the part that you've assign me. You wanted to be normal, and I didn't stand in the way of your happiness because I love you too much."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Here we both are standing over my girlfriend's body as I fight to not give into my darkest desires for her blood. Emmett, Jasper and Alice are behind us ready to dismember James for coming after her, and I don't care if they hear my rant at this moment. My supposed 'father figure' is really asking me not to let my girlfriend turn, but also not to kill her.

"All I've ever done was love you, and now that I've finally decided to move on, I finally decided to take a chance at being 'normal', you want me to choose you."

 _Edward, please be quiet._

"NO, now is the time for you to choose Carlisle. After this is over, I will leave our family and I will never return or you will be mine in the way we should have always been." I give him the ultimatum and pain reaches his eyes. He knows that I mean the words this time.

When I returned to him and Esme in 1927, the story that we concocted was that I couldn't deal with hearing my victims' final thoughts, but really it was because I missed Carlisle. I promised him the night of my return that I would never leave him. That I'd play the part of whomever he needed me to be in his life as long as I was in his life.

I even understood when he brought Rosalie home to be my mate. I would have willingly dealt with her spoiled and vapid attitude, but thankfully she had no feelings toward me other than possible friendship. I was saved with that situation.

But a vampire can only last so long without being with their mate. I can't continue to be alone for him. Before he can give me his answer, Alice returns to us, "we need to move now; the police and fire department are on their way!" I wanted to growl at her, but Bella was losing a lot of blood and I do care about her. So we hurried out of the ballet studio before the flames of James' body could overtake the space.

 **Two Months Later**

I decided to not be there when Bella woke up in the hospital. I couldn't look her in the eyes after talking to Carlisle. So instead, I wrote her a letter explaining that she would be safer staying away from me. I would say being around Forks would have been uncomfortable after breaking up with the sheriff's daughter, but I am extremely happy.

The family was out of the house, Esme, Rose and Alice left about an hour ago for a girls hunting trip, and Emmett and Jasper headed out for the guys trip. I told them that I would wait for Carlisle's shift to be over, and that we would join them in Canada. But what they didn't know was that Carlisle's shift ended twenty minutes ago and not in five hours like I originally said.

Since we would have the next few hours to be completely alone I planned something special for him, "Honey, I'm home." I heard him at the front door but soon he was at my bedroom door. "Edward, where is everyone?" he asked bewildered.

I was about to answer him when he noticed the twinkly lights strung up in my room and the soft classical music playing on my stereo.

"What is all this?" he smiled as he was instantly in front of me. "Has my dear Edward planned something special for me?" he whispers while trailing his lips down my neck. I purr from the feel of his lips on me.

After getting Bella to the hospital in Phoenix, Carlisle met me in the hallway after speaking with the medical staff. "She is going to be fine, Edward" he says, placing his hand on my shoulder. I raise my head from its bowed position and stare into his eyes, "I don't care. I know Bella will be fine; what I need to know is your answer." I try my hardest to keep my voice down as anger reaches his eyes.

 _We will not talk about this here, Edward._

I was starting to get pissed, yet I respected his thoughts.

"Meet me at the hotel the family has gone hunting so we will be able to speak freely." I didn't fight it. I just agreed and left the hospital.

It was there that Carlisle confessed that it wasn't until he saw the way I cared for Bella and was willing to risk my life to fight for her that he truly knew that I was lost to him. It was in that moment he decided that he couldn't go on without me as his partner. I told him that this had to be real, not like before. I wanted him in every sense of the word. He agreed, but that he didn't want to hurt Esme, and he would tell her in his own time. I agreed and we kissed.

"Earth to Edward." I cleared my mind of what lead us to this moment. It's been so hard trying to find time to be alone with the family around. Luckily, Alice came up with the brilliant idea for a same sex camping trip. It couldn't have come at a better time since I was this close to telling Esme the truth, so that I could claim my mate properly.

 _Love, is everything okay? We don't have to do this if you aren't ready._

"Sorry, I was just getting lost in your touch. I want this." I moan as his hands encase my body with his warmth. I lean into him breathing in his sweet honey scent. "I've missed this," I whisper as my head rests on his shoulder. We slowly start to sway to the music and I remember the days when it was just the two of us. I would play the piano while he laid on the lounge reading about the latest in medical innovation.

"I know we should have been like this way ages ago." I don't want to have this argument again I just want to bask in the fact that we are finally together.

"Carlisle, please, let's just be here together. No more talk of the past," I say looking up into his eyes.

"Whatever you say my love." His lips connect with mine and the kiss slowly intensifies. Soon he places me on the lounge facing the window.

I am making it my mission to make up for all the time that we've lost. His beautiful thoughts flow into my mind as he licks my earlobe pulling it into his mouth.

"Ah, Carlisle," I groan as I reach up, ripping open his green scrub shirt. I look sheepishly at him, "I'll replace it," I say while pushing the sleeves off of his well-developed arms.

"No worries. I have plenty. Now why don't you join me and remove your shirt," he says ripping the T-shirt from my chest.

I touch the waistband of his scrub pants and rip it down the middle, "Oh, augh! Now that is more like it."

"Edward, Alice will not appreciate you ruining all of my clothes, but I really don't mind," he laughs while taking the opportunity to tear away my jeans. While he captures my lips, I take his hand, lacing our fingers together.

"I love you," I murmur in his neck as he continues his trail of kisses along my chest.

Immediately, I flip Carlisle onto his back straddling his lap, "I think that we should consummate this union properly." I would have blushed if I had blood flowing through my veins.

 _I am all yours, Edward._

"Finally," I say as I reach my hand to his raging hard-on placing it at my pulsing opening.

"I knew it." The words came to both of our ears at the exact moment that Carlisle's shaft enters my body. Esme stands in the doorway of my bedroom, and I try not move as to not make this situation even more awkward.

However, Carlisle does; which causes a serious of moans to fall from my lips. He was trying to be modest and cover us both, but it backfires.

"Esme…I" he begins, but she cuts him off.

"Don't, Carlisle," she silences him with one look and quickly turns to me saying, "Edward, all I've ever wanted is your happiness." She didn't move from her spot when she thought _, I knew he was yours. The signs were always there that you were waiting on the sidelines for him._

"I will always see you as my son."

I've never taken into account how she would react or how I would feel when she finally knew. I hope I haven't lost her as my mother.

"I just need some time." Esme turns and closes the door behind her; I hear her say goodbye to the girls before leaving the house and breaking out into a sprint.

I turn to look down at Carlisle, "I will never apologize for finally being able to be with my mate. But I never wanted to hurt her."

He reaches his hand up to cradle my face, "She will be fine, Edward. We just need to give her some space. She will find her way back home." I smile at him leaning down for another taste of his lips and I slowly start to move my hips. Whatever happens to our family, I know that it will work out because my mate has finally become… my forever!

*O*o*O*

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